9 Secrets to First Dates for Men in Their 20’s That the Mainstream Media Does Not Want You To Know

A cursory look online will give young men a wide array of advice when it comes from dating, ranging from how to dress, the appropriate amount of eye contact to make during the date, and the etiquette when it comes to picking up the bill.

The one thing that it all has in common is that it is all a pysop.

In this article, we will debunk modern dating myths as we explain 9 fundamental tips that ensure a vibrant love life for all those who read. So, what are you waiting for, your table for 2 is below:

Tip #1: Dress to Impress

This is a blanket question that does not have 1 clear answer, as fashion is not a one-size-fits all endeavor. I mean, where do you even begin?

You could wear a Vince Carter purple Raptors throwback, but what does that say about you? You have good taste, but you’re no different from the other guys. So you wear a DeMar DeRozan purple Raptors throwback, but what does that say about you? You’re trying too hard to be different. Plus, to the untrained eye, there isn’t much of a difference between the two and, depending on the restaurant, a Raptors throwback jersey wouldn’t be appropriate; a Philadelphia Eagles Kelly Green might be better suited.

Think carefully about what you choose to wear in relation to the venue that you end up selecting, because you only get one first impression.

Tip #2: Show up 30 minutes early and get passive aggressively angry when she does not do the same

Time is money, and money is time. If you aren’t surrounding yourself with people that operate under that mindset, it is time to upgrade your network.

So put her to the test. Show up early. If she doesn’t see the value in that, it’s time to have a tough conversation. But you’re not crazy, you’re not going to confront a girl on a first date. So make subtle jabs:

When the waiter is standing there waiting for her to pick a dish: “Give her a minute, she’s not used to doing things on time”

If she ever excuses herself to use the ladies room: “Should I change into my pajamas and catch some shut eye while I wait?”

You get the picture.

The plus side to all of this? It’ll drive her crazy.

Girls love to be teased, and nothing creates a light playful undertone like passive aggressive anger.

Tip #3: Be rude to service workers.

According to TheAlphaWolf99 on Reddit, there is nothing that girls want more than a dominant man.

And there is no better person to assert that dominance on than someone who cannot defend themselves due to the written and social constraints of their job.

So take this free pass to send your food back. Don’t use please and thank you. Speak to them like they’re a child. Cuz when 2am rolls around, you’re gonna be the one being called daddy 😏 

Tip #4: Do not break eye contact at any point during the evening

There is nothing that screams “insecure soy boy beta cuck” more than not being able to make eye contact with a woman. To make sure nothing gets lost in translation, do not even for a second take your eyes off of your date throughout the entire course of the evening.

Matter of fact, follow her’s wherever they go. She looks up at the ceiling uncomfortably? Don’t be afraid to stand up and meet her there. She goes to the bathroom to sneak out on you or worse, alert the authorities? Follow her, standing a few paces in front of her, so there is no chance that your sightline can be compromised.

This one might land you behind bars, but you will do so as an Alpha male which is far more dignified than a quaint night on the town as a lowly Beta.

Tip #5: Constantly bring up high school sports

You know what girls find more irresistible than a professional athlete? A high school athlete.

Remember what we said about not wasting time? Optimize your time together by not talking about where you are now in life, nor where you’re going in the future, but by reminiscing about the past in excruciating, excruciating detail.

You want her to feel like she’s wearing that Blue Wave jersey that hasn’t been washed in weeks, lining up against a 6’4 280 DT from Bridgeport Central, about to be served a CTE sandwich.

For this one, the louder and more animated you are, the better; it is best that the entire restaurant understands that they are in the presence of a legend, and that you and your date should be treated as such.

Tip #6: Test the waters with basic conspiracy theories

The last thing you want is to be sitting across from someone who has been brainwashed by the mainstream media.

You’re not a lunatic, so you’re not going to come right out and say that you believe that the chemicals put in our water are making the frogs gay, but you might say something like, “Have you noticed that ribbits have gotten a little bit zestier lately?” to see if she bites.

If she replies with anything other than “omg yes, I noticed that the other day on my darkness retreat”, then she just isn’t the one. Move on dude, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Tip #7: Ask her fun and provocative questions

Girls love nothing more than to talk about themselves with someone who is genuinely interested in what she has to say. And not someone who listens to her words with some ulterior motive, but someone who listens to her intent; not just what she says, but why she says it. Subtext is everything with the ladies.

It is for that reason that you should get her going with some fun conversation starters. I took the liberty of outlining a few that you can steal for your big date:

-What was your major?
-Did you play any sports in high school?
-You’re not on your period are you?
-The weather today was p nice, but hoping for more sun tomorrow

You can thank me later.

Tip #8: Make everything about yourself

Okay I lied. The one thing that girls like more than talking about themselves, is a man who has the ability to make every last word of conversation about himself.

Doing this takes the pressure and onus off of them to be entertaining and come up with things to say. Keep a word count going; the ratio of your words to hers should never fall below 95:5, and even that is pushing it.

For some perspective, she should feel more like she is at a one-man play on Broadway instead of connecting with another human being over dinner and/or drinks. You’re welcome for the free tickets 😒 

Speaking of…..

Tip #9: Purposely “forget” your wallet at home that way she has to pay

Fellas, I’m literally giving you free money with this one.

You just gave her the best night of her life, why should it be on you to front the bill? If we didn’t live in such a progressive society, I would suggest sending them an invoice on top of the bill for your presence alone (if you followed these 9 tips), but of course the mainstream media and big pharma would never allow that.

So this is our consolation prize. Enjoy the free meal king - you earned it.

If you followed this advice, then congratulations. You are officially in the top 1% of men in the world.

Guys, it is on us to be the be the best dates possible, not just for ourselves, but for our female counterparts. They are taking time out of their day to be with us, so it’s only right that we make it worth it by, in summary, doing the following:

1. Dressing to impress

2. Showing up 30min early and get passive aggressively angry when she doesn’t do the same

3. Being rude to service workers

4. Not breaking eye contact at any point in the evening

5. Constantly bringing up high school sports

6. Testing the waters with basic conspiracy theories

7. Asking her fun and provocative questions

8. Make everything about yourself

9. Purposefully forgetting your wallet at home that way she has to pay

Follow these 9 simple rules and you’ll be able to have any girl you want, I guarantee it. But of course the mainstream media does not want you to know this.

Help a brotha out: