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  • Unreal Weekly Roundup April 1: Sex Trafficking, Conjoined Twins, and Morning Sun Exposure

Unreal Weekly Roundup April 1: Sex Trafficking, Conjoined Twins, and Morning Sun Exposure

Author

Blake Sherwyn
April 01, 2024

“Weekly superlatives for the people, by the people”

Win of the Week: Governor DeSantis signs bill to ban social media for everyone under the age of 14, existing accounts will be deleted

Florida: 1, ADHD: 0

Loss of the Week: Never meet your heroes: UWR regular Andrew Huberman accused of having 6 girlfriends at once in alleged hit piece

So what you’re saying is that morning sun exposure can get you six girlfriends? Fine, I will volunteer in the name of science and put this theory to the test.

Best Week: NFL offensive players as the hip-drop tackle is officially banned

I hate injuries but I also hate flag-happy refs so I’m not sure how to feel about this one.

Worst Week: P Diddy under investigation for sex trafficking

The worst part about this is you can no longer say “Woke up in the morning feeling like P Diddy” without coming off like an absolute freak. Where does the tragedy end?

Man of the Week: Christopher Nolan to become Sir Christopher Nolan after being knighted in England

What’s the American version of this because I want it. Is it just being called “honey” or “sugar” by the nice lady working at your local diner?

Woman of the Week: Conjoined twin, Abby Hansel, marries army veteran

Don’t think about this one too hard

Clown of the Week: Rashee Rice causes six-car crash via drag racing, cleats stolen from charity event found in vehicle

This is what happens when they take too long to release GTA 6. Figure it out, Rockstar.

Date Spot of the Week: Cellar Dog (West Village)

Credit: DirtyDawg69

“A break from the ordinary drinks with tons of fun games to play. Good for date 3+ once you already know someone, and a fun activity to have a good time together”- DirtyDawg69

Need Hinge advice? Write in here and our experts will get back to you via email or anonymously in a timely manner.

Jersey of the Week: Croatia Euro Cup home jersey

Watch of the Week: Sicario (2015)

Key Players:
Denis Villeneuve (Director)
Benicio del Toro
Emily Blunt
Josh Brolin

Where to Watch: Prime

An absolute visual masterpiece besides being a great story. Villeneuve took what could have easily been a shut-your-brain-off action movie and made it art. So many unique shots and sequences make this a must watch.


Song of the Week: It’s Alright, It’s Ok by Ashley Tisdale (2009)

Go off Maddie Fitzpatrick (Click the image to listen)

Wisdom of the Week:

Sunday Motivation:

Credit: Cal Pal

Fan Question of the Week: When you were a freshmen in high school, what did you think you would be doing at 27 years old? What turned out to be similar from your expectations and what turned out to be different?

Asked by: The Yellow King

I had a very skewed perception of adulthood until maybe the age of 20 years old. When I pictured my future, I didn’t know what I would be doing professionally, but I always pictured it taking place in a grey dimly lit office and a cubicle. Yuck. Writing this from a pool in Miami right now so I can confidently say that things did not go according to plan thank God.

Hoss or Toss: Sunday Funday

Pictured: The Mecca of Sunday Funday (Club LIV) (Credit: PaulAllen830)

Hoss: “Why let Monday ruin your Sunday?”, as the white girls say. Life is short, live it up.

Toss: Get it together man, do you really want to be starting your week presumably hungover? Touch grass.

What do you think?

Last week’s results:
Doing research for your March Madness bracket
Hoss: 33%
Toss: 66%

The Mav Cam: 

Maverick “The Tongue” Sherwiano

Leaderboard:

Totals reset at the end of each month

and a Random Athlete for the road… 

Ryan Grant (RB)

Until next week,

Blake Sherwyn

Have something you’d like to submit for next week? Click here and fire away

Have more feedback to share? You can write-in here. Thanks Hoss[ette]