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Unreal Weekly Roundup Apr 21: WNBA Trophy Husbands, Betting Against Yourself, and Coyotes Getting Posterized

Unreal Weekly Roundup Apr 21: WNBA Trophy Husbands, Betting Against Yourself, and Coyotes Getting Posterized

Blake Sherwyn
April 21, 2024

“Weekly superlatives for the people, by the people”

Win of the Week: 15 seconds of more Sopranos content drops as Knicks LeBron pitch leaks

People have been hating on this online, but something tells me that those very same people don’t have the making of a varsity athlete (Click the image to watch)

Loss of the Week: Tarantino scraps 10th movie, “The Movie Critic”, that Tom Cruise was in talks to star in

Tom Cruise reading Tarantino dialogue was not something I never knew I needed until they took it away from us.

Best Week: Utah gets hockey team as Arizona Coyotes leave the desert

One man’s (mine) trash is another man’s (the mormon’s) treasure. RIP ‘Yotes, congrats Salt Lake City. (Click the image to have Biz make you cry)

Worst Week: Jontay Portner banned from the NBA for life for betting [against himself and his team]

Well now he knows to hammer Jontay Porter U.5 points

Man of the Week: Wemby declines Drake’s invitation to join him on-stage after teammates not welcome, condemns party culture

I’m the last one that should be lecturing about party culture but an NBA guy setting a good example to kids regarding values and lifestyle is nice to see

Woman of the Week: 3x UWR Woman of the Week winner, Caitlin Clark, Indiana Fever jerseys sell out in record time, signs historic 8 year $22M shoe deal

The fundamental question is: do I have to be a Latina with a BBL to marry into this situation or does that rule only apply to NBA gold diggers?

Clown of the Week: Producer Carol Baum roasts Sydney Sweeney on film panel, claims she “isn’t pretty” and “can’t act”

The only way that this makes sense is if she’s negging her in order to get her to like her

Feel Good Moment of the Week: Brock Purdy prevents woman and her dog from coyote attack

Haters will still say that Brock Purdy is a system coyote-defense quarterback

Date Spot of the Week: Tea Room (Brickell)

Click the image to snag a res.

Great views and a nice/quiet ambiance. They’ve also got a $98 pre fixe option that delivers on its promise and then some. Def not a first date spot though, come here for a special occasion. Can pop over to Sugar after which is connected to the same roof for a more lively post game too if you so please.

Need Hinge advice? Write in here and our experts will get back to you via email or anonymously in a timely manner.

Jersey of the Week: Mets 2024 City Connect

Watch of the Week: Ricky Stanicky (2024)

Where to Watch: Prime (Click the image to watch the trailer)

Did Ricky Stanicky bring old-school comedy back like many speculated when the trailer dropped? Not exactly, but it was a nice return to form, even if it wasn’t a 10/10 home run. Nice light watch that doesn’t take itself too seriously, or seriously at all for that matter, that has its fair share of laugh out loud moments.

What 2 Watch 4:

-The Entertainment System Is Down:" a Keanu Reaves-led social satire about passengers on a plane coping with the touch screens being down on a long flight

-Trap: M. Night Shyamalan’s latest movie about a father who takes his daughter to a concert that turns out to be an FBI sting to arrest a serial killer: him.

-Scorsese’s Frank Sinatra biopic starring Leo DiCaprio and Jennifer Lawrence

-Scorsese’s Jesus movie starring Andrew Garfield and Miles Teller

Song of the Week: Heat of the Moment by Asia (1982)

Click the image to listen.

Wisdom of the Week:

Sunday Motivation:

Unreal Update: Lil Brick gets accepted into the Big Apple Film Festival

Alumn of this festival include Jesse Eisenberg, Matthew Modine, and Cuba Gooding Jr, not too shabby. Personally shocked that the humor translated to the artsy festival community but maybe I’m their diversity bid. Regardless, I’ll take it, wish us luck 🤞

Fan Question of the Week: If you could be the GM of any sports team, which team would you pick?

Credit: Ravens12

The damage has already been done, but if I were to take over as GM of a team, it would be the Chicago Bears.

My first order of business would be to work out a deal with the Stealers to trade the 9th overall pick for quarterback Justin Fields. I would then take wide receiver Marvin Harrison with the #1 overall pick.

Once my job is threatened for trying to pull that off, I would trade the #1 overall pick to the Commanders for a haul, and then draft a quarterback with the #2 pick who doesn’t paint their nails, wear dresses, and ask for ownership stake in a team before playing a single snap in the NFL.

Hoss or Toss: Spirit Airlines

Hoss: Incredibly cheap flights; you spend more money on an Uber to the airport than on the flight to your destination. Also typically have great/convenient flight times.

Toss: Ratchet. Inordinate amount of coughers. Might as well be on a public school bus that flies. I’m willing to pay the extra $100-200 to not fly Spirit.

What do you think?

Last week’s results:
Voice Memos:
Hoss: 50%
Toss: 50%