Unreal Weekly Roundup Apr 7: Weaponized Elephants, Egregious HR Violations, and the Weather

Win of the Week: NYC hit with [harmless] earthquake, arms citizens with memes and small talk going into the weekend

Loss of the Week: Amazon ditches “just walk out” technology

Best Week: LA robbers pull off $30M cash heist

Worst Week: University of Kentucky students trying to get to class amongst wind storm

Man of the Week: Billy Football (of PMT fame) announces congressional run

Woman of the Week: 6’7 Center from Brazil, Kamilla Cardoso, leads South Carolina to a national title

Clown of the Week: President of Botswana threatens to send 20,000 elephants to Germany after Germany makes move against trophy hunting

Feel Good Moment of the Week: Phillies pitcher, René Pinto drives 5hrs from Rochester to Philly after being called up, shows up at 4th inning, records save

HR Violation of the Week: Kanye West racks up laundry list of egregious offenses at Donda Academy including a Mario-themed threat

DAWG of the Week: Tiger Woods imposes sex ban ahead of Masters

Date Spot of the Week: Raoul’s (SoHo)

“A classic French bistro, open since the 1970s, eating here is like taking a walk down memory lane. It is a beloved classic known for its steak au poivre and off-menu / limited quantity burger (10 made per day, only can be ordered at bar)” - The Yellow King

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Jersey of the Week: Norfolk Tides camo

Watch of the Week: Hell or High Water (2016)

Key Players:
Writer: Taylor Sheridan (Yellowstone)
Chris Pine
Ben Foster
Jeff Bridges

Accolades aren’t everything, but when you notch a 97% on Rotten Tomatoes along with a Best Picture nomination plus 3 others, you’re probably doing something right. Hell or High Water is a slow burn that goes by in the blink of an eye. Behind the gunslinging and Western backdrop is a story about brotherhood and loyalty that anyone with siblings can relate to.

Song of the Week: Moonlight Mile by The Rolling Stones (1971)

Wisdom of the Week: “Patience isn’t the ability to wait, but how you act while you are waiting”- Joyce Meyer (Credit: Timber McCloud)

Sunday Motivation: Do it tired.

Fan Question of the Week: In your opinion, what is the best movie of all time?

I am ready and willing to get absolutely dragged for this take but here it goes: Groundhog Day is the best movie of all time, at least to me (movies are so subjective obviously so I don’t think there’s a definitive “best” one).

I definitely have a comedy bias so maybe it’s just the rarity of a comedy movie this profound that sticks out to me, but I just personally haven’t seen a movie that more accurately nails the inner workings of the human mind; Buddhist leaders literally came out in praise of the movie when it was first released.

It’s basically a self-help video in the form of an hour and a half comedy movie led by Bill Murray, idk what more you could ask for.

Hoss or Toss: Drinking at the movies

Hoss: You go to the movies to unwind, what better way to do it then with a nice cold beer or glass of wine?

Toss: Idk about you, but the last thing I want to do once I’ve had a beer is sit there quietly and pay attention to something for 2 hours. Add another to the mix and I’m yelling at the screen trying to rizz up Florence Pugh from Row G Seat 22 at AMC Lowes Port Chester during a sold out screening of Oppenheimer. Just enjoy the movie as is, the two are not compatible.

What do you think?

Last week’s results:
Sunday Funday:
Hoss: 40%
Toss: 60%

The Mav Cam:

Leaderboard:

Totals reset at the end of each month

and a Random Athelte for the road: Placido Polanco

Have more feedback to share? You can write-in here. Thanks Hoss[ette]