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Matrix Win of the Week (WARNING: DEVASTATING):

Instagram limits cold DM’s you’re able to send at a time to 1.

Why must terrible things happen to great people? Do they not understand the fact that their actions create a ripple in a fragile ecosystem? Who else is supposed to take 23 year old marketing majors to drinks every night? Either they don’t know, don’t show, or don’t care about whats goin’ on in the suburbs….

Matrix L of the Week:

Kevin Brown sings Blink-182 on-air five days after coming back from an unjust suspension.

Singing a song from any other band might not have hit as hard, but there doesn’t seem to be a bigger “IDGAF” than singing Blink-182 on-air fresh off a suspension. Kevin Brown proved he is untouchable and he knows it.

Man of the Week:

Jaylen Brown

Why? Because he sent hand-signed thank you notes to the entirety of the All-NBA voters after locking in a $303.7M contract. What makes this move special is how far from expected it is; there is no world in which he had to do this, but he did anyways because its a nice thing to do and for that he is a hoss. Mr. and Mrs. Brown raised him right.

John Angelos of the Week:

Wander Franco

F’s in the chat for the below:

Date Spot of the Week:

The Black Ant (East Village)

Cuisine: Authentic Mexican

Pros: Good menu, poppin’ but not too loud

Cons: Space itself is pretty forgettable

Good for date #: 1-3

Secret Sauce: Gauge the character of your date by trying to get him/her to eat the fried crickets. What was that Mike Tyson quote? “Everyones got a plan ‘til they get a fried cricket in their face?'“

Wellness Tip of the Week:

Get your ass out of bed right away in the morning.

Give yourself 5 seconds then jump right out of bed as soon as your alarm goes off in the morning. This creates a bias towards action as opposed to rumination, and will help you be more proactive throughout the day. You will find yourself “doing” before you have time to rationalize / overthink / procrastinate.

Wisdom of the Week:

Jealousy=desire

Mel Robbins on absolute fire this week.

Sunday Motivation:

Human being: *breathes*

David Goggins:

Don’t Sleep On:

Jordan Love

People forget that Jordan Love is in year four of his career. You just know this mf been sittin’ on the sidelines waiting for his time, just like Rodgers did before him. Well that time is now, and the upside is certainly there. If you’re one of those sickos that waits for the 15th round to draft a QB, you might just want to consider going with #10.

Athlete You Probably Forgot About of the Week:

Edgar Renteria

Jersey of the Week:

The Los Angeles Clippers’ 2013-2014 “Back in Blue” jersey

Movie of the Week:

The Royal Tenenbaums (2001)

A movie where Wes Anderson is able to balance art with traditional storytelling, unlike some of his more abstract pieces like French Dispatch. If you’re a fan of Arrested Development, this movie is for you. In fact, the parallels are so overt that AD creator Mitch Hurwitz saw the film back in ‘01 and was forced to rework the entirety of his show in order to differentiate the two.

Song of the Week:

Haven’t Got Time For the Pain by Carly Simon (1974)

Meme of the Week:

Hoss of the Week:

Ray Gustin V (@ray_gustin5)

Q: If you could relive any time what would it be?

Gustin: Throwing it way back, I’d probably I want to relive my legendary 10th grade chem class. There were such eclectic mix of characters, almost out of a sitcom. I feel like the older I get the more nostalgic I get for that mid-2010 high school feel.

The Mav Cam:

Freshly bathed? Great time for a romp in the mud