Man of the Week:

Myles Turner

Forget about his NBA stats, here are Myles Turner’s lego stats on the season:

• 3.5 hours per day playing building

• 12 projects completed

• 120,000 pieces

If one day Myles makes the NBA Hall of Fame, they better make his statue out of legos.

Woman of the Week:

Mya Lesnar

The genes are strong with this one. Mya broke the Colorado State shot put record this week, further solidifying that I want her on my side in a bar fight.

Loser of the Week:

Android Users

Forewarning, this video is very hard to watch. Gotta give it to Anya though for trying multiple times in the middle of the red carpet chaos to make this fan happy, a long ways away from All-Clown First Team 2023 member Megan Rapinoe.

Reminds me of the time I met my childhood hero as a youngin’ only to get the blurriest photo ever; so close yet so far.

Clown(s) of the Week:

Harvard, Penn, and MIT Presidents

When asked to condemn anti-semitism, these presidents did not step up. Luckily, the public did, pulling donations and barraging these schools on social media, so much so that Harvard turned off tagging on Instagram. You have to wonder what this blunder is going to do to the long-term credibility to these former(?) titans and if we have another Bud Light situation on our hands.

Date Spot of the Week:

Fig. 19 (LES)

Cuisine: Cocktails

Pro’s:
-Cool little speakeasy that starts off as an art museum
-Super cozy; equipped with fireplace and all
-Old-fashion upscale ambiance

Con’s: No bites

Good for Date #: Any

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Text of the Week:

Fantasy Advice of the Week:

Stash Broncos Defense

If you’re in the hunt, don’t have a top 10 defense, and are feeling cocky, stash the Bronco’s defense ahead of their Week 16 matchup vs the Patriots before someone inevitably adds them that week. They’ve been looking sharp and I wouldn’t bet on another Week 14-level Bailey Zappe performance.

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Random Athlete Generator:

BenJarvis Green-Ellis, RB

Jersey of the Week:

Army Football

DAWG of the Week:

Dillon Brooks

You’ve gotta be next-level detached from public perception to act like this on a national stage. From the comfort of our couches this is hilarious and a little bit corny, but I personally wouldn’t love to be matched up against a sicko like this should my hoop dreams have come true.

Hoss or Toss:

The NBA In-Season Tournament

Hoss: Some added stakes to a regular season that people often say has none.

Toss: If you’re like me, the above graphic is like hieroglyphics. I consider myself to be a highly literate sports fan, but I do not understand the purpose/stakes of this tournament, or how any of it was seeded. The courts also make it almost impossible to watch without needing to look away from the screen to give your eyes a rest. The stakes also feel manufactured and undercut the actual playoffs. It also takes place way too early in the season. Hmmm, I wonder where I stand on this one…

But what do you think?

[Spoiler Free] Movie Review of the Week:

Saltburn (2023)

From special guest reviewer, Isa Morcos:

Saltburn left me with a smile on my face , and a pit in my stomach. It was a visceral experience. Full of absurdity and an immaculate cast.

I believe most people will incorrectly try to overthink Saltburn. It will frustrate most. I hear the critics now yelling, “but that character - and this dialogue - and that scene didn’t - and whats the meaning -“

While they may be technically right, I think they’re missing the point. 

I think Saltburn’s goal is to invoke conflicting, impassioned, and horrifying feelings, perhaps similar to what Barry Keoghan’s character, Oliver Quick, experienced in his days leading up to revealing his sociopathic tendencies. I do not think Saltburn’s intention was to be perfect. 

Don’t get me wrong , with most films I want to dig deep and question direction and choices. But my gut with Saltburn tells me it’s not meant to be picked apart. That would explain the strong aesthetic and visual choices throughout the entire film. Maybe one of the greatest films stylistically I’ve seen this year. It was intensely creative and and every scene exemplified the intention of mise-en-scene, (if you’re in film school that word excites you). The visuals were another level of sensation for the audience.

I think the movie was fun, genre-bending, suspenseful and a grand gesture to FILM AS ART. Don’t overthink it! Enjoy Rosamund Pike!!

Christmas Song of the Week:

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer by DMX (2020)

Wellness Tip of the Week:

Integrate turmeric into a shot, juice, or smoothie to help boost your immune system as we head into peak flu-season.  Studies show that turmeric may help fight infections and some cancers, reduce inflammation, and treat digestive problems. - The Yellow King

Wisdom of the Week:

Sunday Motivation:

"Your future is created by what you do today, not tomorrow." – Anonymous - Timber McCloud 

Hoss of the Week:

Dylan O’Connor aka Daryl aka The Abominable

Q: What would your death row meal be?

Daryl: “Death-row Eve” is giving Sunday Scaries albeit a little worse. On Sundays, a paralyzing hangover coupled with looming work commitments gives you the green light to commence on a prodigious eating regiment. On death-row, I’d go with my Sunday favorite of Dim Sum - General Tso’s, Beef Scallion Pancake, Pork Soup Dumplings (and comfortably slip into oblivion).

Fan Question of the Week:

What was your favorite birthday?

(Asked by The Yellow King)

I’ll break this answer up into 2 parts:

Favorite birthday as a kid: Age 11

We got a Hibachi dinner at Abis (anybody from Greenwich has gone to at least 10 birthday dinners there) then saw Bolt in theaters. I don’t remember the movie much but what I do remember is meeting Mariano Rivera, who was sitting behind me in the theaters. Still have the signed ticket in my room.

Favorite birthday as an adult: Age 21

Not because it was my first “legal drink” - I’d been drinking at bars for years just like everybody else - but because it was the first time me and Fran hosted our annual birthday bash. I think we invited maybe 500 people on Facebook and got an amazing turnout. Felt like the Frat Fest of the winter where people were able to catch up after not seeing each other for a while cuz of break.

The Mav Cam:

Leaderboard:

Totals reset at the end of each month

And A Meme for the Road: