“I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.” ― Edgar Allan Poe (Credit: The Yellow King)

Worst Week:

Christopher Nolan

A peloton instructor teed off on Christopher Nolan during her class. She said about Tenet:

“Did anyone see this sh*t? … What the f*ck was going on in that movie … that’s 2.5 hours of my life that I want back”

The only problem is: Christopher Nolan was taking the class. Yikes.

Imagine busting your ass in a workout class and the instructor just looks dead into the screen and starts roasting your performance at your corporate job? “Wtf was going on in that powerpoint? That’s 30 minutes of my life that I want back.” Demoralizing to the Nth degree.

The instructor attempted to make amends by saying:

“I have seen ‘Oppenheimer’ twice. That’s 6 hours of my life that I don’t ever want to give back… Mr. Nolan, I’m inviting you to come for a ride with me in the Peloton studio. You can critique my class. You’ll have a great time. You’ll sit in the front row. And I promise you it’ll be insult-free.”

Alright fine, nice save.

Best Week: Guy goes 3 for 3 face timing his ex’s on live stream

Loss of the Week: Director of next Star Wars movie says her goal is to “make men uncomfortable”

Men of the Week: Team USA Juniors crush the national anthem

Feel Good Moment of the Week: Pat Beverly’s interaction with this tiny hoss

Clown of the Week: Jimmy Kimmel

Date Spot of the Week

Moli (Greenwich, CT)

Cuisine: Chinese

This brand new spot might be the new nicest restaurant on Greenwich Avenue. It boasts a stunning/grandiose decor and has a lot of traditional Chinese dishes that don’t leave you feeling lethargic. Comes alive at night too with a fun upscale bar scene.

Need Hinge advice? Write in here and our experts will get back to you via email or anonymously in a timely manner.

Fit of the Week: Siaki Ika (Cleveland Browns)

Hoss or Toss: Dry January

Hoss: Great way to carry positive momentum into the new year. Not a whole lot of events in January that call for raging anyways.

Toss: Drinking doesn’t have to be all or nothing. You can still be mindful of your drinking in Jan without going cold turkey.

What do you think?

“If I messed up in high school, I could be some of these kids dads” — Joe Flacco on being the old guy in the locker room

Lock of the Week:

-Michael Penix Jr O 292.5 Passing Yards
-Blake Corum Anytime TD
-Michigan ML

Please bet responsibly a-holes.

Random Athlete Generator: Hakeem Nicks

Jersey of the Week: Croatia Men’s World Cup

Question of the Week:

“You can always look better, be thinner.” — Patrick Bateman, American Psycho (2000) (Credit: PaulAllen830)

Watch of the Week:

Anyone But You (2023)

Key Players:
Sydney Sweeney
Glenn Powell
GaTa
Will Gluck (Director)

Genre: Rom Com

Where to Watch: In theaters only

While every joke wasn’t exactly a home run, the wit and heart of this film definitely makes up for it. It felt really big and grandiose, especially for a rom com, which is super refreshing to see in modern era. They were validated by bringing in $58M on a $25M budget.

Catch GaTa in my next short, dropping late January 👀 

Song of the Week: Everybody Dies by J. Cole (2016)

Wisdom of the Week:

Set attainable goals, and work your way up from there

So often we set our goals far too high right out the gate, especially coming off of new years. The result is typically demoralization and quitting before we can even build momentum.

By all means, aim high. But unless you set up micro-goals along the way, you’ll crush yourself with your own ideal and standards.

Sunday Motivation: Be that guy.

Hoss of the Week:

Fran Kinniry

Q: What is something people don’t know about you?

Fran: For the past four years I have been on the junior board of Best Buddies New York and matched in a one-on-one friendship through their citizens program. We regularly plan events for the IDD (intellectual or developmental disability) community and their non-IDD buddies including the annual Best Buddies New York Walk and Party for a Purpose Gala. We also help with growing and maintaining the Citizens Program friendships. This experience has allowed me to develop many strong connections with people I would never meet in my normal social circle and has further opened my eyes to power of philanthropy.

Fan Question of the Week: If you could own properties in 5 different locations, where would they be and why?

Asked by: The Yellow King

This will just turn into a ranking of my favorite places in the America (wouldn’t necessarily want to own property internationally), but here we go, in no particular order:

Aspen, CO
Miami, FL
Orange County, CA
Greenwich, CT
Scottsdale, AZ

The Mav Cam:

Leaderboard:

Totals reset at the end of each month

and a Meme for the Road:

Have more feedback to share? You can write-in here. Thanks Hoss[ette]