Winner(s) of the Week:

Zack and Cody Martin

After a 15 year wait, Zack and Cody are finally ready to be seated at Chef Gigi’s Italian restaurant. Take notes, Four Charles, this is what exclusivity looks like.

If they don’t show, hoping Arwin is there on the putback and can take Mrs. Martin 😏 

Loser of the Week:

The City of Oakland

The A’s have officially announced their move to Las Vegas, leaving the city of Oakland with zero professional sports teams.

Absolutely gut wrenching. Besides the obvious loss of pride and weekly entertainment for the city, the subtext here is especially jarring; what is one supposed to think about the future of their city after this? You’re basically living in a Spirit Halloween on November 1st.

Matrix L of the Week:

Henry Blodget out at Insider

Hashtag justice.

Credit: The Yellow King

Clown of the Week:

Megan Rapinoe

Most athletes take moments like this to reflect on their career, inspire others but, no. Megan Rapinoe decided to use her platform to denounce God and make it a pity fest. Very on-brand for the woat.

Credit: Timber McCloud

Date Spot of the Week:

Undercote (Flatiron)

Cuisine: Cocktails
Pro’s:
-Super exclusive
-Incredible ambiance; super sleek, plants coming out of the walls
-Drinks that change colors

Con’s: Perhaps a bit too exclusive? You can only get a res via email. But I guess that’s a con only because of the inconvenience

Good for Date #: 7-8+

Need Hinge advice? Write in here and our experts will get back to you via email or anonymously in a timely manner.

Fit of the Week:

Mikael Sergachev

Nothing says “Mother Russia” (plz read that in a thick Russian accent) quite like the all black suit + black shades. Sergachev doesn’t need to be flashy to steal the show, no matter how much he looks like an extra from Taken who is about to catch hands from Liam Neeson.

Text of the Week:

This text from a friend that I text not as frequently as I’d like was a great way to start my day. Find 👏 friends👏 that 👏 push you.

Hoss or Toss:

Jameson Williams’ McFlurry x Big Mac combo

Ahh, just like Mom used to make…

Hoss: Fries x McFlurry works, maybe the same goes for the Big Mac?

Toss: See picture.

Correction: If Mom used to make this, contact child protective services immediately (1-800-342-3720) as you may be entitled to financial compensation.

Fantasy Advice of the Week:

Add Isaiah Likely (TE)

This is an easy one as Ravens TE Mark Andrews went down with an injury on Thursday and is out for the season. The position is a wasteland and, even if you don’t have Andrews (like I do it 2 leagues 😐️ 🔫 ), the person who does might be desperate for a trade (like I am).

Need fantasy advice? Write in here and our experts will get back to you in a timely manner.

Random Athlete Generator:

Scott Rolen, 3B

Jersey of the Week:

Las Vegas Knights Reverse Retro

[Spoiler Free] Movie Review of the Week:

The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes

Key Cast:
Rachel Zegler
Tom Blyth
Peter Dinklage
Viola Davis
Jason Schwartzman

Where to Watch: In theaters only

I went into this movie with 0 expectations and was pleasantly surprised. I haven’t read any of the books, have only seen the first movie (over 10 years ago) and was still able to follow and be invested in this standalone prequel / origin story. I actually didn’t even know it was an origin story until someone whispered it into my ear ~1.5 hours in.

The pacing is a bit weird, but the story and performances are enough for you to not care. Schwartzman was especially great and provided surprising comedic relief, as was Rachel Zegler, who was good enough to make me forget about her Snow White campaign. If you’re a fan of the series or itching to go to the movies this week, I recommend checking this one out.

Quote of the Week:

Ridley Scott on French critics negative reviews of his new film, Napoleon:

“The French don’t even like themselves”

Song of the Week:

Young Lust by Pink Floyd (1979)

Meme of the Week:

Wellness Tip of the Week:

Screens off 1hr before bed for quicker / higher-quality sleep.

Credit: The Yellow King / TBird96

Wisdom of the Week:

Sunday Motivation:

Perhaps THE Sunday Motivation….

Here are the closed captions:

*clears throat, adjusts necktie*

I’M HURT DOG, DON’T ASK ME IF I’M ALRIGHT. HELL NAW NEIGHBOR. JOAQUIN SAID DOMINATE, AND WE NOT DOIN’ IT! I PUT MY HEART IN THIS SH*T DOG. LET’S GO MAN

Couldn’t have said it better myself. Thank you for sharing, Ed.

Hossette of the Week:

Lauren Kossman

Q: What is one decision you made that has improved your life?

Kossman: Hiring Blake Sherwyn as my fantasy football team coach. My league’s punishment is brutal this year, and hiring him has helped me stay out of last place!

(The loser has to enter the Sunburst Beauty Pageant)

*THIS IS NOT AN AD*

Fan Question of the Week:

When was the last time you cried and why?

The last time I cried was maybe a month or two ago watching a movie that I cannot remember for the life of me. Excuse me for not having a better answer but that is the God’s honest truth. I literally went through my entire Letterboxd (500+) films to trigger some sort of memory.. nothing.

I’m a movie cryer though, I’ll be the first to admit. Real life doesn’t really touch me; something reaaaaally catastrophic/tragic would have to happen to get me to cry. But movies? Forget about it.

Here is a list of some movies/shows I’ve gotten at the very least teary-eyed from:

• Marley and Me (obviously)

• Coco (I watched it on the airplane without sound; just subtitles. It’s literally a movie about music)

• Wandavision

• Guardians of the Galaxy 3 (Jesus Christ I was a WRECK during this)

• Mandalorian Season 2

As you can see, the bar is very very low. Cannot emphasize enough how low it is…..

It’s really f*cking low.

Follow me on Letterboxd @unrealsherwyn13.

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